Richard Foster on Prayer

A great passage from one of the best books I know exploring prayer...

"We today yearn for prayer and hide from prayer. We are attracted to it and repelled by it. We believe prayer is something we should do, even something we want to do, but it seems like a chasm stands between us and actually praying. We experience the agony of prayerlessness.

"We are not quite sure what holds us back. Of course we are busy with work and family obligations, but that is only a smoke screen. Our busyness seldom keeps us from eating or sleeping or making love. No, there is something deeper, more profound keeping us in check… It is the notion – almost universal among us modern high achievers – that we have to have everything “just right” in order to pray. That is, before we can really pray, our lives need some fine tuning, or we need to know more about how to pray, or we need to study the philosophical questions surrounding prayer, or we need to have a better grasp of the great traditions of prayer. And on it goes. It isn’t that these are wrong concerns or that there is never a time to deal with them. But we are starting from the wrong end of things – putting the cart before the horse. Our problem is that we assume prayer is something to master the way we master algebra or auto mechanics. That puts us in the 'on-top' position, where we are competent and in control. But when praying, we come 'underneath,' where we calmly and deliberately surrender control and become incompetent. 'To pray,' writes Emilie Griffin, 'means to be willing to be naïve.'

"I used to think that I needed to get all my motives straightened out before I could pray, really pray. I would be in some prayer group, for example, and I would examine what I had just prayed and think to myself, 'How utterly foolish and self-centered; I can’t pray this way!' And so I would determine never to pray again until my motives were pure. You understand, I did not want to be a hypocrite. I knew that God is holy and righteous. I knew that prayer is no magic incantation. I knew that I must not use God for my own ends. But the practical effect of all this internal soul-searching was to completely paralyze my ability to pray.

"The truth of the matter is, we all come to prayer with a tangled mass of motives – altruistic and selfish, merciful and hateful, loving and bitter. Frankly, this side of eternity we will never unravel the good from the bad, the pure from the impure. But what I have come to see is that God is big enough to receive us with all our mixture. We do not have to be bright, or pure, or filled with faith, or anything. This is what grace means, and not only are we saved by grace, we live by it as well. And we pray by it.

"Jesus reminds us that prayer is like little children coming to their parents. Our children come to us with the craziest requests at times! Often we are grieved by the meanness and selfishness in their requests, but we would be all the more grieved if they never came to us even with their meanness and selfishness. We are simply glad that they do come – mixed motives and all.

"This is precisely how it is with prayer. We will never have pure enough motives, or be good enough, or know enough in order to pray rightly. We simply must set all these things aside and begin praying. In fact, it is in the very act of prayer itself – the intimate, ongoing interaction with God – that these matters are cared for in due time."

— Richard J. Foster, Prayer: Finding the Heart’s True Home
(Harper SanFrancisco, 1992)

Clearing Committee

Today I participated in a day-long retreat, "The Heart of Leadership: Leading with Spiritual Awareness," at Rolling Ridge, our United Methodist retreat center in North Andover, MA. The retreat leaders were Margaret Benefiel, Quaker, professor at Andover Newton Theological School, CEO of ExecutiveSoul.com, and author of Soul at Work: Spiritual Leadership in Organizations; and Larry Peacock, United Methodist pastor currently serving as executive director at Rolling Ridge.

One of the most meaningful exercises, for me, was time spent in a group of three, reflecting on an issue we're dealing with in our leadership, through what is called a Clearing Committee - a Quaker tradition. It goes like this:

• Silence (1 min.)
• Focus person speaks (4 min.)
• Clarifying questions - focus person responds (1 min.)
• Silence (1 min.)
• Questions and comments - focus person does not respond; someone in the group records (7 min.)
• Prayer (2 min.)
• Transition to the next focus person (1 min.)

I found it incredibly helpful to reflect in a very focused way, confined by clear parameters of time within a prayerful, supportive, reflective space; and then to receive not suggestions or advice, but questions and comments, to which I could not respond, but which invited me to further reflection. The idea is that the wisdom comes not from those in the group who have advice to share, but from within the person dealing with the issue, and from God.

I need to spend some time thinking about how this exercise might have application in my ministry. I think there are some real possibilities. The Clearing Committee -- sometimes called Circle of Trust -- invites spiritual groundedness when dealing with leadership issues.

How could you imagine utilizing the Clearing Committee in your ministry, workplace, church, organization, or family?

Cinco de Mayo!

We had an awesome New Light Cinco de Mayo party at our house tonight, complete with (virgin) Margaritas, a huge spread of Mexican food potluck style, Mexican music, cheesy decorations (including a five-foot inflated cactus and strings of red pepper lights, thanks to the leftovers from Fiesta Vacation Bible Camp!) and lots of wacky games -- games that included things like Sprite and gummy worms, sombreros, Bible verses in Spanish, jalapeno peppers, maracas, balancing cups of water on heads, and singing "Mary Had a Little Lamb" while gargling. Not all at once, of course.

Oh, it was great fun. Someone commented, "It's like Youth Group for adults!" Oh, wait -- that was me. But everyone agreed.

I'll try to post pictures soon -- especially the one of Sarah (the other one, not my wife) with a gummy worm sticking from each nostril.

What's the purpose of events like this in the context of a newly forming community of faith? Well, one thing I know for sure: laughter is an important spiritual practice. And besides that, it was wonderful to see community being strengthened and relationships being sealed across the two small groups. We do lots of things that have a stronger spiritual component, of course. We're intentional about engaging in acts of devotion, worship, compassion, and justice. But it sure was fun to hang out, eat good food, and laugh hard tonight.

Tomorrow I'm off to a retreat focusing on leadership and spirituality at Rolling Ridge. Good times.

Back from the Walk to Emmaus

I spent Thursday-Sunday serving on the team for Crossroads Emmaus Men's Walk # 41, Walk to Emmaus, at Singing Hills Conference Center in Plainfield, NH. I am feeling renewed in spirit, spiritually strengthened, and somewhat sleep-deprived.

I've been thinking about a few highlights of the weekend which intensify my confidence in the way God uses the Walk to Emmaus as one tool in transforming lives:

• seeing guys take big steps in their faith, confront places in themselves that need to change, and move beyond a place of taking faith for granted
• experiencing agape love
• remembering again, for myself, the transforming power of God's grace
• seeing guys step beyond their comfort zone to give a talk
• experiencing Communion that really is communion in its truest sense: Communion with God and communion with one another
• laughing until it hurt
• crossing boundaries: interacting with people I otherwise might never encounter
• witnessing the breaking of emotional barriers
• realizing that public speaking is not just about excellent elocution skills, but more importantly, hearts transformed by grace.
• learning once again (in the words of a fellow spiritual director) that "rough hewn" works just as well - that sanctification is not the same thing as education or elevation

Have you been on the Walk to Emmaus? If so, what would you add to the list?

Ready for a Wellness Exam?

This week I went to my new primary care physician for a wellness exam, also known as a physical. It was my first time meeting this new doctor, so of course there were lots of questions about family history, about my allergies and asthma, about diet and exercise, and all the rest. The nurse took my blood pressure, height, and weight and asked me about the medications I take. The doctor listened to my lungs, looked at my eyes and ears and throat, poked and prodded here and there... refilled some prescriptions for asthma medications... and made a referral to an allergist. I came away feeling good that I'm being proactive about my health and good about establishing a relationship with a doctor who will provide care should I be sick in the future.

I wonder... do we give our spiritual health the same weight of importance? Are we as intentional about assessing our own spiritual health from time to time? What would a spiritual wellness exam look like?

I can imagine questions like these...

• How is your prayer life?
• What other spiritual practices nurture your faith?
• What habits, practices, or patterns stand between you and a deeper faith in God?
• Who are your spiritual mentors, role models, or companions in Christ?
• What have you been reading from Scripture, and what new insights have led you deeper in faith?
• How have you used the gifts God has given you in service to God and God's people?
• How are you remaining faithful to the practice of worship?
• How have you engaged in works of compassion and mercy, helping people in need?
• How has your faith led you to works of justice?
• When and how have you shared your faith with others?
• How have you encouraged others in their own walk of faith?
• How have you shown Christian hospitality to those whom God sends your way?
• What are you doing to grow deeper in your practice of Christian stewardship and generosity?
• When have you felt closest to God? most distant from God?
• What "prescriptions" do you need to fill (or fulfill or refill) to treat symptoms of spiritual dis-ease?

What questions would you add to the list? Are you willing to undertake a spiritual wellness exam?

Covenant Renewal

Last night, as part of our New Light gathering, we spent some time in reflection using a modified version of the Covenant Renewal Service in the Wesleyan tradition - a service that calls participants to renew their covenant with God. The climax of the service is this powerful prayer for Covenant Renewal:

I am no longer my own, but yours.
Put me to what you will,
rank me with whom you will;
put me to doing,
put me to suffering;
let me be employed for you
or laid aside by you,
exalted for you or brought low for you;
let me be full,
let me be empty;
let me have all things,
let me have nothing;
I freely and wholeheartedly yield
all things to your pleasure and disposal.

And now, glorious and blessed God,
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit,
you are mine and I am yours.
So be it.
And the Covenant now made on earth,
let it be ratified in heaven.

---------------

You know that old expression, "Be careful what you pray for!"? It definitely applies in this situation, because when we pray, "I am no longer my own but yours..." -- when we pray, "I freely and wholeheartedly yield all things to your pleasure and disposal..." -- that's a prayer of surrender. The act of surrendering, it seems to me, isn't to be entered into lightly... but when we're able to truly surrender, that's a pretty powerful (powerless!) thing! I wonder what God might do with me -- how God might use me -- if I were able to truly surrender all things, yield all things, give myself completely to God. I hope I can find out.

Here at the beginning of a brand new year, we're challenging everyone in the New Light community -- and on Sunday, everyone in the Chestnut UMC congregation as well -- to pray this prayer daily. We've printed up bookmarks with the words so everyone can keep them at their fingertips, and we're providing a weekly guide to daily devotions. We hope people will be intentional about spiritual practices using these resources, and we can't wait to see the transformation God can accomplish in us through our faithfulness to these daily practices.

A Visit with Brian McLaren

What an awesome experience to spend a little time with Brian McLaren today. We are in Baltimore, where Sara is participating in The Lewis Fellows, a fellowship of young clergy from around the country which meets several times a year at a conference center in Baltimore, sponsored by The Lewis Center for Church Leadership. I’m using the time away to work on a bunch of new church stuff – while Rachel (15 months old) is napping or entertaining herself, that is!

So today I joined the group on a field trip to Cedar Ridge Community Church, the church Brian McLaren founded. It was really interesting to be there. The church facility is smaller than I expected. In stark contrast to churches like Saddleback or Willow Creek or the United Methodist Church of the Resurrection - all enormous mega-churches with high profile pastors - Cedar Ridge is kind of an average facility: a large gathering space/ lobby with a big, multi-purpose worship space in the center; rows of classrooms lining both sides. There was nothing flashy or particularly innovative about the space - just very functional, not unlike hundreds of thousands of other churches in rural communities, suburbs, and cities around the country.

Brian met with us in the back of the sanctuary in a circle of chairs while some other staff people were meeting in another section of the sanctuary. He was very relaxed - just kicked back on a couch, sharing conversation like it was his living room. I only sat in on part of the conversation, because Rachel woke up from her nap in the stroller and was getting a little distracting, so I took her out to find some toys in the infant room.

The first person to pose a question asked Brian what he thought about the emerging church conversation as it relates to mainline denominations - can the two co-exist? Brian's response was really interesting: he said he's more hopeful, actually, for mainline denominations than for evangelical non-denominational churches, for two reasons: (1) mainline churches know they're in trouble, while evangelical churches do not; and (2) within mainline churches there's more room for theological disagreement and discourse, which makes them more pliable. On the flip side, though, he notes that mainline churches have a "fundamentalism" about structure - a fundamentalism that is as rigid as the theological fundamentalism on the other side. Both are deadly, he says.

Brian talked for a bit about the recently released research conducted by Willow Creek that has determined that there is no correlation between increased activity and increased spiritual growth. Prior to this research, everyone sort of assumed that the more active a person became in the programs of the church, the deeper that person grew spiritually. In fact, that is not true - which shouldn't be a huge surprise, it seems to me... Being "busy" with church activities doesn't necessarily make one more spiritually centered - in fact, doesn't church busy-ness often keep us distracted from the inner work of the Spirit? Willow Creek is learning, as Diana Butler Bass and others have been saying, that spiritual practices, and not increased activity, lead to deeper spiritual lives, and so the church needs to focus on teaching and encouraging spiritual practices. This will be important as we develop a discipleship program for new light.

We're staying through the weekend, and we're hoping to visit Cedar Ridge for worship on Sunday, as well as National Community Church which meets at the movie theater at Union Station in D.C., to experience their worship and learn what others are doing. We feel so blessed to have this opportunity!