Weather Woes

The sun is shining, and I hardly recognize it.

During the month of June, we got measurable rain 21 of 30 days. Portland had 8.56 inches. According to the weather service, the normal June rainfall is 3.28 inches. So far, July isn't looking so good either. Everyone and everything is soggy.

On Friday, during a brief break in the rain, Sara, Rachel, and I went strawberry picking -- something we like to do every June. It was so sad to walk up and down the rows of strawberry plants, seeing soggy, rotting, and molding berries lying on the ground everywhere. We did manage to pick quite a few, despite the challenging conditions, but there's no question: this year's crop is suffering.

Yesterday we spent the Fourth of July at the rustic camp on Center Pond that's been a center of family summer fun since my grandparents bought it when my Mom was a teenager. It rained the entire time. Once in a while, there would be a little teaser -- a brief glimpse of lighter gray on the horizon, and someone would say, "I think it's starting to break across the lake" -- just in time for the next wave of torrential rain. My brother and sister and I used to spend lots and lots of time at Camp when we were growing up, including the Fourth of July most years. I don't ever remember a Fourth quite as bleak as this one.

And yes, it looks like still more rain in the forecast for the week ahead, with maybe, just maybe, a change in weather patterns for the end of the week.

For most of us, it's just a nuisance or maybe a minor inconvenience. It seems important to pray, though, people for whom too much rain can mean floods and great loss, for farmers who are finding their crops are rotting in the fields, and for all who depend on outside work for their livelihood.

Meanwhile, let's pray also for those who are in places of drought, whose lives are equally impacted.

If it's okay with you, I think while I'm offering this prayer, I'm going to head back outside, while there's still a glimpse of blue and that bright round orb is still up in the sky.

Richard Foster on Prayer

A great passage from one of the best books I know exploring prayer...

"We today yearn for prayer and hide from prayer. We are attracted to it and repelled by it. We believe prayer is something we should do, even something we want to do, but it seems like a chasm stands between us and actually praying. We experience the agony of prayerlessness.

"We are not quite sure what holds us back. Of course we are busy with work and family obligations, but that is only a smoke screen. Our busyness seldom keeps us from eating or sleeping or making love. No, there is something deeper, more profound keeping us in check… It is the notion – almost universal among us modern high achievers – that we have to have everything “just right” in order to pray. That is, before we can really pray, our lives need some fine tuning, or we need to know more about how to pray, or we need to study the philosophical questions surrounding prayer, or we need to have a better grasp of the great traditions of prayer. And on it goes. It isn’t that these are wrong concerns or that there is never a time to deal with them. But we are starting from the wrong end of things – putting the cart before the horse. Our problem is that we assume prayer is something to master the way we master algebra or auto mechanics. That puts us in the 'on-top' position, where we are competent and in control. But when praying, we come 'underneath,' where we calmly and deliberately surrender control and become incompetent. 'To pray,' writes Emilie Griffin, 'means to be willing to be naïve.'

"I used to think that I needed to get all my motives straightened out before I could pray, really pray. I would be in some prayer group, for example, and I would examine what I had just prayed and think to myself, 'How utterly foolish and self-centered; I can’t pray this way!' And so I would determine never to pray again until my motives were pure. You understand, I did not want to be a hypocrite. I knew that God is holy and righteous. I knew that prayer is no magic incantation. I knew that I must not use God for my own ends. But the practical effect of all this internal soul-searching was to completely paralyze my ability to pray.

"The truth of the matter is, we all come to prayer with a tangled mass of motives – altruistic and selfish, merciful and hateful, loving and bitter. Frankly, this side of eternity we will never unravel the good from the bad, the pure from the impure. But what I have come to see is that God is big enough to receive us with all our mixture. We do not have to be bright, or pure, or filled with faith, or anything. This is what grace means, and not only are we saved by grace, we live by it as well. And we pray by it.

"Jesus reminds us that prayer is like little children coming to their parents. Our children come to us with the craziest requests at times! Often we are grieved by the meanness and selfishness in their requests, but we would be all the more grieved if they never came to us even with their meanness and selfishness. We are simply glad that they do come – mixed motives and all.

"This is precisely how it is with prayer. We will never have pure enough motives, or be good enough, or know enough in order to pray rightly. We simply must set all these things aside and begin praying. In fact, it is in the very act of prayer itself – the intimate, ongoing interaction with God – that these matters are cared for in due time."

— Richard J. Foster, Prayer: Finding the Heart’s True Home
(Harper SanFrancisco, 1992)

Fall has arrived!

My friend Beth Dimond, who is brilliant behind the camera, sent this beautiful photo which she took the other day here in Maine.

It's clear: Fall has arrived.

I used to dread fall. For all of my growing-up years and well into my early adulthood, fall only symbolized the regrettable end of things -- the end of summer, the end of long days, the end of open windows and warm nights. And along with the end of things I loved so much, it was the harbinger of terrible things to come, like shoveling snow and cold mornings and long, dark nights.

I know so many people -- my wife, Sara, included -- who say fall in Maine is their favorite time of year, but I'll confess, for years, I saw nothing redeeming about fall.

Sara has brought many gifts to my life, and one of them, I can honestly say, is a newfound appreciation for this season. By her influence, I've learned to really enjoy some of the fall traditions: apple picking, going to the Common Ground Country Fair, walking in the fallen leaves (and raking them, too!), decorating our house with colorful chrysanthemums, enjoying the incredible harvest of fresh fruits and vegetables from the farmers markets, and yes, taking the time to admire and appreciate the majesty of God's Creation displayed in the bright colors that fill the roadsides.

I'm thankful for this new appreciation, I'm thankful for Sara and the influence she has on my life, and I'm thankful for the reminder that there is always reason to find the joy in each present moment when we're attentive to God's gifts.

Wherever you are, may your autumn be filled with joy!

Priorities

Despite what the post may say, it's 1:27 am as I sit down to pull together a few thoughts before heading to bed, and I find myself reflecting on priorities.

Why can't I seem to set them and keep them? That is my question.

I want to be able to compose a blog post every day, as a discipline and also as something I enjoy doing. I want to be able to read and offer comments on others' blogs more regularly than I do. And most importantly, I want to take time to read more than I generally do. I have a stack of books calling out to me all the time. I keep a running list of books that I want to read. I have to confess, though, that I am not consistent about building into my schedule the necessary time to read. Sure, I go in spells where I'm reading regularly, and I always find it meaningful and uplifting and enjoyable, but then several weeks have passed and I'll realize that I've only managed to keep up with the periodicals, like Newsweek, Christian Century, Sojourners, and The Progressive Christian, and the bookmark in the book I'm reading hasn't moved.

It's definitely not because I'm sitting around watching television. Too often, my days are packed -- it seems like I run from one thing to the next, taking time in between only to eat, change a diaper, and respond to e-mail. Depending on the day, I may have some assigned time for giving Rachel my full attention, but too often, she gets shuffled along with Sara and me as we go about the tasks of ministry.

So... a question for friends and ministry colleagues who have developed a workable schedule... How do you do it? Where do you build in time to read? What does a typical (or ideal) day look like? How do you pace yourself to accomplish all the things on your task list while also being faithful in setting priorities for family, reading, exercise, and oh yes, adequate sleep?

Speaking of which... time to head in that direction. Tuesday Morning Prayer begins at 8 am, and that's going to come too early!

Calm me down...

Prayer for an Average Sunday

~ Kenneth G. Phifer

Eternal God, look now upon me as I wait,

stilled for a time,

subdued and quiet.

You know that it is hard for me to wait.

It is hard for me to be still.

I rush from one thing to another,

churning up my life

into hectic waves of accomplishment.

When night falls, I confess I feel a bit guilty

if I have done nothing except be myself.

I even come to prayer with the feeling

that it is apart from life,

that when it is over I had best do something.

Even in church I want to sing a hymn

or take up an offering.

And then when church is over,

I plunge back into my world where the action is.

O Lord, do I have it wrong,

twisted around?

Are there more occasions than I realize

when I would be a better person

if I didn't do anything but just stand there?

Do I fail to hear the real needs

of loved ones, friends, and neighbors,

because I am too busy figuring out

what next to do for them,

or maybe to them?

Am I so absorbed in running the world

that I am not aware of you

and of the things you have to say to me?

Calm me down, I pray.

Calm me down

to the place where I can remember

how many times you have managed to keep me going

when I thought I could not make it.

Calm me down

so that I can recall times of steadiness and fear

when a courage was infused in me

that enabled me to hold on.

Calm me down

so that I can accept my limitations without panic

and in the knowledge that I cannot do everything.

In many ways I do not do anything.

In some ways I do the wrong things.

In the silence before the mystery and the meaning,

I stand waiting,

still,

quieted by wonder.

For life is filled with mystery, meaning, and wonder.

The mystery of being itself.

The meaning that keeps breaking through to me,

meaning encompassed in words

like faith, hope, and love.

And I wonder why when I pray, I believe,

and why when I believe, I pray.

May I be assured that what I do matters

and what I say counts,

because you are in me and for me.

Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

-- Kenneth G. Phifer, A Book of Uncommon Prayer

Nashville: The Upper Room, 1981

(a book given to me by my church family at Searsport (Maine) United Methodist Church when I graduated from high school ~ it's inscribed June 5, 1988 ~ that I've carried with me all these years)

Go World!

I'm watching the Opening Ceremonies for the 2008 Summer Olympics, and I'm overwhelmed, as I am every time this comes around, by the beauty of the whole thing. Sara commented, "This is so amazing! There is nothing else like this in the world."

True, isn't it? For me, the Olympics represent a wonderful hope for peace and a spirit of unity as sisters and brothers from countries that span the planet gather to celebrate what's best about humanity. Some will leave with medals and others without, but what matters most is not who wins the Gold, the Silver, or the Bronze, but rather the ideals of peace and harmony and the realization that there is a oneness that runs so much deeper than any differences in language, dress, color, religion, or culture.

Have you seen the Visa commercials? I wish they weren't for Visa, but the message is wonderful. In the voice of Morgan Freeman (ironically, recovering right now from a serious car accident): “There are six billion of us. We all come from unique places, with unique ways of looking at the world. We don’t always agree but for a few shining weeks we set it all aside. We come together to stand and cheer and celebrate as one. We forget all the things that make us different and remember all the things that make us the same. GO WORLD."

Go World. That will be my prayer during the days ahead, and long after the 2008 Summer Olympics have come and gone.

Personality and Prayer

In some spare time this afternoon, we made Erica take the Myers-Briggs test, and learned that she's an ISFJ. Sara is an INFJ, and I'm an ENFP.

Carlie (a fellow ENFP) shared this blog post (ignore the title and subtitle of the blog) that shares prayers for each Myers-Briggs type. They're pretty funny.

The prayer of an ENFP: "God, help me to keep my mind on one th - Look! A bird! - at a time."

What are your Myers-Briggs letters? Don't know? Take the test here.

An Independence Day Prayer

by Kerry Walters

Lord, we are a mighty empire,
proud of our arms and our wealth.
We fancy they make us independent.
We believe they are signs of our righteousness.

But arms and wealth -- they are idols,
abominable in your sight.
They stunt our hearts and bind our spirits.
They breed fear, distrust, arrogance, greed.

The temple we have raised for them is called
Fortress America.
We are prisoner-priests within its walls.

Move us this day, good Lord,
to yearn for real independence.
Open our eyes to our self-imposed shackles.
Rip asunder the veil of our temple-fortress.

Stir our hearts, that we might seek
vulnerability rather than power
service rather than dominion
peace rather than war
reconciliation rather than preemption.

Inspire us to witness to the world by
demolishing our killing instruments of war
giving our wealth to the needy
practicing apostolic simplicity
forgiving our debtors
and renouncing our mania to be a superpower.

Let us repent of empire, gracious God,
that we might embrace your Kingdom. Amen.

_________________

The Rev. Kerry Walters is an ordained deacon in the Episcopal Church, peace activist, author, and co-editor of Episcopal Peace Witness.

Clearing Committee

Today I participated in a day-long retreat, "The Heart of Leadership: Leading with Spiritual Awareness," at Rolling Ridge, our United Methodist retreat center in North Andover, MA. The retreat leaders were Margaret Benefiel, Quaker, professor at Andover Newton Theological School, CEO of ExecutiveSoul.com, and author of Soul at Work: Spiritual Leadership in Organizations; and Larry Peacock, United Methodist pastor currently serving as executive director at Rolling Ridge.

One of the most meaningful exercises, for me, was time spent in a group of three, reflecting on an issue we're dealing with in our leadership, through what is called a Clearing Committee - a Quaker tradition. It goes like this:

• Silence (1 min.)
• Focus person speaks (4 min.)
• Clarifying questions - focus person responds (1 min.)
• Silence (1 min.)
• Questions and comments - focus person does not respond; someone in the group records (7 min.)
• Prayer (2 min.)
• Transition to the next focus person (1 min.)

I found it incredibly helpful to reflect in a very focused way, confined by clear parameters of time within a prayerful, supportive, reflective space; and then to receive not suggestions or advice, but questions and comments, to which I could not respond, but which invited me to further reflection. The idea is that the wisdom comes not from those in the group who have advice to share, but from within the person dealing with the issue, and from God.

I need to spend some time thinking about how this exercise might have application in my ministry. I think there are some real possibilities. The Clearing Committee -- sometimes called Circle of Trust -- invites spiritual groundedness when dealing with leadership issues.

How could you imagine utilizing the Clearing Committee in your ministry, workplace, church, organization, or family?

A Prayer for Good Friday

Shock Me with the Terrible Goodness of this Friday

Holy one,
shock and save me with the terrible goodness of this Friday,
and drive me deep into my longing for your kingdom,
until I seek it first —
yet not first for myself,
but for the hungry
and the sick
and the poor of your children,
for prisoners of conscience around the world
for those I have wasted
with my racism
and sexism
and ageism
and nationalism
and religionism,
for those around this mother earth and in this city
who, this Friday, know far more of terror than of goodness;
that, in my seeking first the kingdom,
for them as well as for myself,
all these things may be mine as well:
things like a coat and courage
and something like comfort,
a few lilies in the field,
the sight of birds soaring on the wind,
a song in the night,
and gladness of heart,
the sense of your presence
and the realization of your promise
that nothing in life or death
will be able to separate me or those I love,
from your love
in the crucified one who is our Lord,
and in whose name and Spirit I pray.

— Ted Loder, Guerillas of Grace: Prayers for the Battle

Ready for a Wellness Exam?

This week I went to my new primary care physician for a wellness exam, also known as a physical. It was my first time meeting this new doctor, so of course there were lots of questions about family history, about my allergies and asthma, about diet and exercise, and all the rest. The nurse took my blood pressure, height, and weight and asked me about the medications I take. The doctor listened to my lungs, looked at my eyes and ears and throat, poked and prodded here and there... refilled some prescriptions for asthma medications... and made a referral to an allergist. I came away feeling good that I'm being proactive about my health and good about establishing a relationship with a doctor who will provide care should I be sick in the future.

I wonder... do we give our spiritual health the same weight of importance? Are we as intentional about assessing our own spiritual health from time to time? What would a spiritual wellness exam look like?

I can imagine questions like these...

• How is your prayer life?
• What other spiritual practices nurture your faith?
• What habits, practices, or patterns stand between you and a deeper faith in God?
• Who are your spiritual mentors, role models, or companions in Christ?
• What have you been reading from Scripture, and what new insights have led you deeper in faith?
• How have you used the gifts God has given you in service to God and God's people?
• How are you remaining faithful to the practice of worship?
• How have you engaged in works of compassion and mercy, helping people in need?
• How has your faith led you to works of justice?
• When and how have you shared your faith with others?
• How have you encouraged others in their own walk of faith?
• How have you shown Christian hospitality to those whom God sends your way?
• What are you doing to grow deeper in your practice of Christian stewardship and generosity?
• When have you felt closest to God? most distant from God?
• What "prescriptions" do you need to fill (or fulfill or refill) to treat symptoms of spiritual dis-ease?

What questions would you add to the list? Are you willing to undertake a spiritual wellness exam?

Prayer for the New Year

A beautiful prayer for the new year, written by Steve Garnaas-Holmes, a pastor in our Conference, who's also part of the group Montana Logging & Ballet Company and a gifted hymn writer... with thanks to Rolling Ridge, whose e-newsletter contained this prayer; and especially to Steve, without whose permission I'm copying it here...

God,
I thank you for this past year.
For every day—
pleasant and unpleasant,
easy and difficult,
with all their gifts and struggles,
good decisions and bad—
I thank you.
I do not presume to judge
days I should or should not have had.
I thank you for them all.
Each one was a step on my journey,
which has brought me to this day;
and on each you accompanied me.
Each moment was a gift of your Presence,
and from them I may still receive grace.
I thank you.

For the year to come, God, I thank you,
and I entrust myself to you.
I trust that you will accompany me
each day, each moment, each experience,
whether relaxing or challenging,
familiar or new.
Whatever shall befall me,
you will be with me,
and it will be good.
I thank you; I look forward with hope,
and I open my heart to your blessing.

Bless me each day of this new year:
that I may receive your blessings,
be ever mindful of your presence,
and listen for your voice;
that with courage I may trust your deep desire for me,
and that I may live in harmony with your grace.
Amen.

Steve Garnaas-Holmes

A Celtic Prayer

A Celtic Prayer that Larry Peacock, one of our presenters at e3 - The School of Congregational Development for The United Methodist Church in New England - shared this morning as we began day two:

In the busyness of this day
grant me a stillness of seeing, O God.
In the conflicting voices of my heart
grant me a calmness of hearing.
Let my seeing and hearing,
my words and my actions
be rooted in a silent certainty of your presence.
Let my passions for life
and the longings for justice that stir within me
be grounded in the experience of your stillness.
Let my life be rooted in the ground of your peace, O God,
Let me be rooted in the depths of your peace.

• J. Philip Newell, Celtic Benediction

A Sincere Prayer

Around the sanctuary at Cedar Ridge Community Church, there are large, screenprinted canvases with graphic images and text inviting people to prayer. The spot where we gathered as we met this afternoon with Brian McLaren, in the back corner of the sanctuary, is a kind of prayer corner. A sign reads, "Sometimes what we all need most is another human being to pray with us." There's a couch and several chairs to accommodate a comfortable prayer huddle, as well as some resources for prayer. Another sign, hanging just above a long sheet of white paper (maybe 8 feet long) says "Express... Make your prayer visible," inviting people to write their prayer or draw images representing their prayers.

This prayer caught my eye: in red magic marker, the letters of a young child...
"Please make my Dad say YES to Baskin Robbins." - Felicity

Now that's a sincere prayer!