Waiting... Anticipating... Praying...

Just so you know, we are in serious waiting mode here.

A baby is coming, and no one knows when.

Sara's due date was October 31st, Halloween (and what fun that would have been!), so we're just past that, but the thing is, we've been actively waiting -- on-the-edge-of-our-seats waiting -- for twelve days now, and frankly, that's getting a little old.

It was twelve days ago that Sara endured a long day of off-and-on contractions, and so when day turned to night and contractions were getting more and more intense, every 2-6 minutes (picture me with my stopwatch, timing, recording, gearing up for the big event), we kind of settled in for what we expected would be a long night that culminated with a new baby. Around 12:30 am, the contractions stopped quite suddenly, so we went to bed, hoping to catch a few hours of sleep but fully expecting the labor would continue. Wrong.

That was twelve days ago, and over these twelve days, there have been more periods of off-and-on contractions, more wake-ups in the middle of the night, more expectations... and we're still waiting...

I've been reflecting a lot over these twelve days: particularly about how few things there are in life that can't be scheduled. Seriously, very few things in life that can't be scheduled. Birth is one (save scheduled C-sections and labor inductions, of course). Death is another. I have shared the sacred journey with many families as they've cared for a spouse, parent, or sibling through the final days, and often there's a lot of waiting and preparation as God and nature take their course. Eventually there are labor pains (is it fair to call them that?), and life gives way to death and then to new life. And so it is as we anticipate this birth. We're at the starting line, waiting for the gun to fire... waiting... waiting... waiting.

Meanwhile, life continues. Waiting can't be our full-time job, and thankfully so. Our three-year-old Rachel needs the constant attention a three-year-old needs. Halloween has come and gone, complete with parties, costumes, trick-or-treating, and candy. Ministry continues (and yes, it was a bit odd participating in worship this morning with a substitute preacher, despite the fact that there's still no baby). Lots of people are praying for us, but since we've cried wolf several times over these past two weeks, the intensity of their waiting-with-us has subsided a bit. Now they just smile or laugh when a still-pregnant Sara enters the room.

And one of these days, with or without warning, the contractions are going to continue, labor will ensue, and yes, there will be a baby -- a living, breathing, demanding baby -- another human being who's going to live in this house.

Until then, I'm not missing the significance of this lesson in patience, trust, surrender to a power greater than self, and the sacredness of life.

Happy Mother's Day!

On this Mother's Day, I can truly say that two of the greatest blessings in my life are these two people pictured above: my wife, Sara, who is a fantastic mother; and our daughter, Rachel.

We took this photo last week at a park in our neighborhood. Next year when the tulips are in bloom, there will be an additional person in the family photo: the little one whose cells are multiplying every day in Sara's womb, who will make his or her appearance this fall, when the grass is more brown than green and the tulips have been replaced by pumpkins and cornstalks.

Today I'm giving thanks to God for the gift of mothers!

Heartbeat

Sara is now in her 15th week of this pregnancy, and it's starting to hit me, in little waves, that we're bringing another human being into the world. Not only that, but this human being is going to live with us... be part of our family... require frequent diaper changes... wake us up somewhat regularly in the middle of the night... and eventually require food and clothing and another car seat and my time and attention.

Whenever this hits me, I find myself asking the rather somber question, "Am I ready for this?" Last time around I was blissfully ignorant about all the ways parenthood would change my world. This time I know enough to be scared.

I also know we will be incredibly blessed, and despite the waves of panic when I think about the fact that we're about to double the number of children under our roof, mostly I'm excited.

One thing will be very different this time around: we're doing a home birth. Yes, that's right: this baby is going to be born in this very house where we live. When Sara first suggested the idea, I had a little panic attack on the spot. "You want to do what?" I asked, eyes wide, mind racing. In retrospect, I can see that was a silly reaction, especially since my fears had little to do with the big things, like whether a home birth would put Sara or the baby in danger. I've learned, thanks to Sara's coaching, that birth is really not so much a medical event as it is a natural human event, and that only in the past 50 years or so -- the blink of an eye in the scope of human history -- and only in the most industrialized countries, has childbirth been medicalized, resulting in huge increases in the numbers of interventions. That knowledge, plus the awareness that we live literally within two miles of two outstanding hospitals, made me almost immediately comfortable with the medical concerns. Mostly, though, my fear had to do with the much larger questions like, Who's going to answer the phone when it rings? Will I be able to separate myself from the dirty dishes in the sink? Where will we get food if there's no cafeteria? And who's going to wash the sheets when this is all said and done?

Once I got past those big questions, the idea of a home birth is a pretty special thing, especially since Sara is feeling 100% confident that this is the right thing for her. And really, she's doing all the work... The least I can do is be supportive.

So today, Robin, one of the two midwives with whom we're sharing this journey, came for our third or fourth visit. After all the questions and the pee-in-a-cup thing and the blood pressure check, we got to hear the baby's heartbeat. It was strong and loud -- 150 beats per minute -- healthy. Wow.

This baby is really coming.

The crown of thorns in the manger

In preparation for worship during this Season of Lent, we recently ordered a crown of thorns to be used as part of our worship space.

Last week, upon returning home after picking Rachel up from daycare, we found a box at the door, and sure enough, it was straight from Holy Land Imports.

At two-and-a-half going on three, Rachel is super excited whenever there's a package at the door, and it's hard for her two-and-a-half-year-old brain to comprehend that it could be a package addressed to someone other than her. So I explained, "No, this isn't a package from Nana and Papa or Grammy Jeanne and Grampa Bud. This is a package for Mommy and Daddy." Well, of course, she wanted to see what was inside, so I continued, "This is something very special," and with that, I pried open the box to reveal its contents.

"This is a crown of thorns," I explained. "Jesus wore one of these on his head when he was on the cross." Okay, this is way too much, I'm thinking, but how do I explain this? By now she's grabbing at it, because it is, after all, a package that arrived at our door, and packages contain treasures to be enjoyed. "It's very, very sharp," I said, and I had her touch one of the thorns, gently, with her little finger so she'd understand. "You have to be very careful when touching this."

"Jesus wore it?" she asked, understandably puzzled. And then, imagination running, putting it all together in her mind, she continued, in her little sing-songy two-and-a-half-year-old voice, "Now I go put it in the manger, and Baby Jesus will be there, and Mary will be there, and Joseph will be there..."

It makes me think about how often we parcel these stories out, keeping them separate, protected from one another. Anyone knows Baby Jesus, with his beautifully laundered swaddling clothes, his disinfected manger, and his mother Mary dressed in light blue, belong to Christmas, where the star shines bright and the angels sing good news. The crown of thorns, though... the cross... the angry crowds... the darkness... well, these belong to Good Friday. Let's not be confused.

Maybe, just maybe, Rachel is starting to understand a connection we'd rather ignore: Birth, life, witness, pain, death, resurrection -- one great story, one Jesus Christ, one life, one Savior, the foundations of one faith.

A crown of thorns in the manger, Baby Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and all -- not a bad idea.

Christmas with family

Was it really 20 days ago when I last posted that little diatribe about the offensive holiday e-mails? What have I been doing with myself, except maybe getting ready for Christmas?

We're in the mountains of North Carolina -- Lake Junaluska, near Asheville, to be exact -- where Sara's parents and grandparents live, celebrating with an extended family time. (Yes, both the time and the family are extended.)

It's been a wonderful Christmas, for lots of reasons:

• We spent Christmas Eve with friends Shelley and Mike, who provided fantastic music to make our Christmas Eve worship celebration special. We celebrated twice: with an indoor service in a meeting room at Portland's historic Eastland Park Hotel, next to what will soon be our home for worship and ministry on High Street; and with an outdoor celebration in Congress Square, at the intersection of Congress & High Streets. It felt great to be able to worship in our new neighborhood. Following worship we went to Don & Sue's house for a magnificent Christmas Eve dinner. Before we knew it, it was after 10:00, which meant late to bed for Rachel, and even later for Sara and me as we wrapped gifts, packed for our trip, and finished a few last-minute preparations.



• We had a relaxing Christmas morning, made merry with the opening of gifts like a snuffed Snuffleupagus, a set of wooden blocks, a CD of Sesame Street music, and a tricycle which has been in our basement for some time, waiting for the perfect age. After breakfast with Shelley & Mike and good-byes, we headed out for the Manchester NH airport and on to North Carolina, by way of Detroit.
  


• We've been at Lake Junaluska, NC since Christmas night, celebrating with Sara's family. Sara's parents live here, and her sister Elizabeth and brother-in-law Greg are visiting with their 14-week old baby (our niece) Lydia. Sara's Turkington grandparents also live here, and every year the extended family comes for a Christmas celebration that lasts several days. This year there were 24 of us! We've enjoyed many wonderful meals, times of singing, giving and receiving gifts, attending worship together, going for walks around the lake, and catching up with each other. Now that most of the Turkingtons have left, Sara's Ewing grandparents and Aunt Nancy have arrived from Florida, and the celebration continues. We'll be leaving tomorrow, and then heading to Searsport, Maine where we'll celebrate Christmas with my extended family.
  

I'm so thankful for the hope of Christmas, for family, and for these times together.

It's hard to believe we're creeping up on 2009, but I guess we are. I'm looking forward to blogging more consistently in the new year.

Happy Birthday, Sara!

Today I'm wishing my beautiful wife Sara a Happy 32nd Birthday!

I put together this slide show early this morning, but I didn't get a chance to post it, and then I got swept up in a busy day.

Now, after getting home from an evening meeting, Sara's putting Rachel to bed, and we'll enjoy a late dinner together. Tomorrow Sara leaves for a five-day trip to North Dakota to spend time with her sister and brother-in-law, Elizabeth and Greg, and their new baby Lydia. Rachel and I will have some Daddy time at home.

So... a little pictoral celebration of Sara's life, and mostly of our life together...

God is Bigger Than the Boogie Man!

Rachel is infatuated at the moment with Veggie Tales. She has several of the old VHS tapes, which she loves to watch, and whenever we get in the car, she wants us to put in the Veggie Tales CD.

So, in honor of Halloween, Rachel's favorite Veggie Tales song (with big props to someone for this very creative home music video, courtesy of youtube):



You were lying in your bed
You were feeling kind of sleepy
But you couldn't close your eyes
because the room was getting creepy.

Larry:
Were those eyeballs in the closet?
Was that Godzilla in the hall?

Bob:
There was something big and hairy
casting shadows on the wall.

Now your heart is beating like a drum
Your skin is getting clammy.
There's a hundred tiny monsters
jumping right into your jammies!

Bob:
What are going to do?

Junior:
I'm going to call the police!

Bob:
No! You don't need to do anything!

Junior:
What? Why?

Bob:
Because... God is bigger than the boogie man
He's bigger than Godzilla, or the monsters on TV
Oh, God is bigger than the boogie man
and He's watching out for you and me.

Junior:
So, when I'm lying in my bed
and the furniture starts creeping
I'll just laugh and say, "Hey, cut that out!"
and get back to my sleeping'
Cause I know that God's the biggest
and He's watching all the while.
So, when I get scared I'll think of Him
and close my eyes and smile!

God is bigger than the boogie man
He's bigger than Godzilla, or the monsters on TV
Oh, God is bigger than the boogie man
and He's watching out for you and me.

Just practicing for Halloween

Oh no!

Yesterday, Rachel had just enough unsupervised time with the markers to accomplish this. She was quite proud of the artwork she created on her own arms.

Sara took this picture as I was helping to restore Rachel to her normal purple-free state, intending to document Rachel's beautiful creation.

What I want to know is this: What is happening to the hair on my head?

Good things come in small packages

Sara and I are so excited about the arrival of a new little blessing in our family. Last Friday, at 3:26 in the morning, Sara's sister Elizabeth (we call her Lib) and her husband, Greg, welcomed their first child, Lydia Anne. They live all the way in Fargo, North Dakota, so we haven't had a chance to meet little Lydia yet, but we've seen lots and lots of pictures, and we even had a webcam phone conference and got to see streaming video in real time. Rachel was squealing with joy to see her new baby cousin. Sara's parents, Nana and Papa Ewing, are there with their second granddaughter now, and we'll look forward to meeting her at Christmas when we all gather at Lake Junaluska, NC, if not before.

If you're interested, check out the blog my brother-in-law, Greg, has started -- Northern Journey -- and some of the pictures in their web albums. I think you'll agree, this new little niece of ours is pretty adorable!

A chicken in every yard

An article in today's Portland Press Herald reports that our neighbors in Falmouth are considering a change to town zoning ordinances to allow the raising of chickens in all residential neighborhoods. No roosters. No slaughtering poultry in the backyard. Coops of a reasonable size (less than 100 square feet isn't bad) and set back 20 feet from all property lines. But chickens and eggs in the backyard, thanks to the Dyhrberg family, who wanted to have a closer relationship to the source of the food on their table. Talk about eating local -- right from the backyard!

Several months ago, our friend Erica had this weird, but reportedly quite vivid, dream that Sara and I had started raising chickens in our kitchen closet. Apparently Sara was excited about the venture, exclaiming, "Now I'll never have to wonder where my eggs come from again!" Erica reports that I was less enthusiastic. Okay, I was rolling my eyes, disgusted. Clearly, Erica knows me too well.

But now, it turns out, maybe Erica's dream was prophetic. Because, who knows? Maybe Portland's next, and if so, I feel a coop coming on.

Saturday at the Fair

We had a great time at the Common Ground Country Fair on Saturday! Coordinated every year by the Maine Organic Farmers and Gardeners Association (MOFGA), the fair has been described this way: "Maine's most authentic country fair, uniting, as it does, old-time folkways with progressive ideas about living the good life on a fragile planet."

Rachel enjoyed the sheep and the alpacas and the cows; trying out her new skill - galloping - with lots of horses nearby to imitate; and the french fries. Sara and I enjoyed people-watching - oh, the people watching!; exhibits and demonstrations; down-home music - fiddle and banjo and guitar and mandolin; free expression of political ideas and values like earth stewardship, care for the poor, peace and justice; and yes, the french fries. We all enjoyed the time together on a perfect fall day in a beautiful spot.

One thing we did not enjoy, though -- this, just before we got to the fair entrance:

Of course, we were stuck in stop-and-go traffic, so we had more than enough time to take in the graphic images and read the foolish signs, most of them reviling the Democrats (my favorite: An Obama Vote = Dead Babies). We did our best to distract Rachel so she wouldn't see this, and we didn't engage the protestors, although I'll confess I was tempted to shout, "And a McCain vote = thousands more dead troops, to say nothing of innocent civilians!"

I guess free expression is free expression.

Single Dad for a few days

Sara has been away at a meeting in Cincinnati this week. Rachel and I took her to the airport on Wednesday afternoon, and she'll be home tomorrow night. It's fun having some sustained one-on-one time with this little two-year-old I love so much, and I think she enjoys it too -- every once in a while she exclaims, "We're having Rachel-and-Daddy time!" -- but I wonder...

How do single parents do this all the time?

Seriously. That is my big question for the day. How in the world do you hold down a job and parent young children all by yourself?

Broken Eggs

This morning, I was cooking some eggs, when two-year-old Rachel decided to reach up and grab the carton from the counter.

I was looking the other way when I heard the telltale sound: eggs cracking on the floor.

I turned around, and there stood Rachel, frozen, staring at that upended carton and six broken eggs, spreading out in a yellowy, oozing mess. The world stood still as she and I both assessed the damage, and the look of shock and panic on her face spoke volumes: she knew she had done something terribly wrong.

"It's okay, Rachel -- you made a mistake, but we'll clean it up," I said, wrapping my arms around her in a big Daddy hug. And at that moment, she and I both learned something about God's grace.

And the summer is flying by!

Probably no one else has noticed, but last night on the telephone, my father-in-law said, "I haven't seen any new posts on your blog in a while" -- so I guess it's time!

A few random thoughts:

I counseled for a week of Middle School Camp at Rolling Ridge, our United Methodist retreat center in North Andover, MA. Pictures here.

On Sunday afternoon, we had a special family birthday party for Rachel, who turned two last Friday. Pictures of our fun on Friday here, and pictures of the party here.

We are leaving today for Orlando (such a great time of year to visit Orlando!) for the School of Congregational Development. Erica and Carlie from New Light are going with us. It should be a good time of learning and connecting with others who share our passion for helping communities of faith to thrive.

I had a great time with my 13-year-old nephew, Jake, who came on Sunday and stayed until Tuesday morning. Among other things, we saw The Dark Knight and had crazy-delicious ice-cream at Cold Stone Creamery in the Old Port.

Super exciting developments for Chestnut UMC - the small established congregation we serve here in Portland, Maine - and by association, for New Light as well. It's too early to be specific, but excitement is in the air! I'll disclose all the specifics as soon as I can...

My alma mater, Boston University School of Theology, has announced the appointment of a new dean. I'm impressed and hopeful!

My brother, Brian, has written a second book -- a wonderful resource book with facts about every U.S. president, their vice-presidents, and their Cabinets. It will be published soon, and I'll be sure to post a link.

Summer blessings!

Three years and counting...

Three years ago today, on a blistering hot day, Sara and I exchanged vows of love and faithfulness and began the adventure of marriage. It was an intimate little service with 350 of our closest friends and family members, at First United Methodist Church of Hudson, where I was serving as pastor, with 12 pastors officiating (all of them family members and close friends -- that was our wedding party!), lots of music, Holy Communion, and many special elements, followed by a dessert reception (chocolate fountain and all!) at Rolling Ridge.

We're headed out to dinner in a few minutes to celebrate (we have a babysitter and everything!), and tomorrow, while Rachel plays with her grandparents, we're taking the day to relax and enjoy each other. We don't know what we're doing yet, but it doesn't even matter, because we'll be together.

I am blessed to have a wonderful wife, life partner, and partner in ministry.

The Best Care in the Air

We're in Northfield, Minnesota tonight, where we're staying with friends Heidi and Alan and their new baby, Adelaide. Tomorrow we'll head to Fargo, North Dakota for several days with Sara's sister Elizabeth and her husband Greg. We are really looking forward to the time with them.

For tonight I just have to say Midwest Airlines is the best! They call their signature service "the best care in the air." Three things did it for me:

• extra wide leather seats, making for plenty of room
• Dr. Pepper on the menu
• complimentary ooey, gooey, warm chocolate chip cookies, baked on the plane! Does it get any better than that?

Happy Mother's Day!

Today I am thankful for my Mom, Jeanne Merrill, shown here... with my Dad and my older brother Brian and me when I was 10 days old... with my whole family, including Brian and my younger sister Karen, when I was 6... on Thanksgiving 2007 being a little bit silly at the dessert table... and opening a funny gift on Christmas Day 2007.

I'm thankful to have a mother who is loving and generous in every way, and who has passed on her crazy sense of humor to the rest of our wacky family!

Fatherhood

Rachel has a really bad cold today. It started on Saturday and Sunday, when she was just kind of lethargic. Monday she slept until 9:00 and stayed home from daycare with a congested cough. Today she has a full-blown cold: her nose is running constantly, she's sneezing a lot, and we have to keep wiping the boogers out of her nose and off her little friend Dodo. She's spent a good part of the day in tears... Any little thing is traumatic.

Poor Rachel. I'd much rather have the cold myself (and give me a day or two... I well may!) than to watch my little girl be so miserable.

HaPpY nEw YeAr!

Oh man! How blessed I am! We have just returned from our post-Christmas travels. We got to spend some quality time with both sides of the family - first with my extended family in Searsport, Maine, and then with Sara's, both the Ewing and the Turkington sides, in Lake Junaluska, NC. Rachel got to celebrate Christmas with all four grandparents, and with all five of her living great-grandparents, and with a whole assortment of aunts, uncles, and cousins. If I counted it right, we got to see 37 different family members over this past week! We are feeling so grateful for the gift of extended family - for these relationships which keep us grounded and which nurture us so deeply.

I have lots to reflect upon here at the beginning of a brand new year, but first I'm anxious to get some good sleep in my own bed, so I'll begin with just these few things for which I'm thankful:

• that the trip home went smoothly, and especially that our plane landed safely even in the middle of a snowstorm
• that Rachel slept the entire way home, through two flights and all the transitions in and out of her stroller, on and off planes, and even into a car once we'd landed the final time
• that our friend Oliver came in his four-wheel drive to pick us up at the airport and delivered us to our door
• that even though we've apparently had several significant snow "events" while we've been away, some kind and generous neighbor has kept our driveway and walks shoveled, saving me lots of time and frustration tomorrow

How much better does it get?

Happy New Year! I'll get back in blogging mode soon!