Why?

The other day I went to the hospital to visit a member of the congregation, whom I'll call Lucy. When I walked in, right away, I noticed her husband sitting next to her and a woman I didn't recognize standing at the foot of the bed. It turned out this visitor was the hospital chaplain, who had stopped by to say hello and offer her services.

"Oh, this is my pastor," Lucy said to her visitor. "And this is the hospital chaplain," she said to me. "Isn't it nice that she came to visit?"

We shook hands, and I thanked her for coming to see Lucy.

I was glad for the chance to visit with Lucy and her husband. Both have been dealing with some serious health issues, as well as a number of complicated life situations -- really a lot on their plate all at once.

"I was just telling her," Lucy said, "how my minister is always saying, 'God never gives you more than you can handle.'"

Ick. How to respond?

I promise, I have never said those words to Lucy or to anyone else. I detest those words.

I couldn't tell if those were words of comfort in that moment.

I wanted to scream, "Who are you talking about? I have NEVER said those words to you!"

What is the implication? That God gives us challenges, and then challenges on top of challenges, because God knows we can handle them? That somehow God pushes us to the breaking point, because God knows it'll make us stronger? That God is somehow orchestrating all the details of our lives -- orchestrating the tragedies, sending us pain and sadness and then piling on more, for some greater good?

I don't believe that. In fact, I'll be the first to say that sometimes I think the situations of life force people to face more than they can handle, and it's downright unfair.

Oh, I do believe that God works in powerful ways in the midst of challenge and tragedy, giving people the strength they need to weather the storms of life. I've seen some truth in Romans 8:28, "We know that all things work together for good for those who love God..." I celebrate moments when I've seen God transform despair into hope, hatred into love, misery into joy, and conflict into peace. That's the miracle of Easter, isn't it? But that's not the same thing as saying that God causes our pain, orchestrates the challenges we face, or trips us up to make us stronger. I don't believe in that God.

I'm tired of platitudes. God never gives us more than we can handle -- but sometimes it seems like life does. I've walked with too many people through life's pain. I look around and see too much suffering. Frankly, I think there's a lot that happens in life that's completely beyond God's will, and in those situations, I think God wants to be a source of love, hope, joy, peace, and strength.

I have a long list of questions for God, and I suspect there are no easy answers, but I hope God gives me the strength to be present with people in the midst of their suffering and without offering shallow explanations that ring empty, allow them the space to wrestle with the biggest questions of life, which always seem to start with "Why?"